In my last post.. Lost.. I was feeling depressed.. In this post a month later.. I am in school and I am aiming for my bachelors of art.. Growing up I was diagnosed with BiPolar Depressive Disorder and.. I have been working through this battle all my life.. It used to hold me back until I met my finance.. (We been together almost 10 years and got four handsome boys.. Just a little information about me) It can still be tough dealing with it sometimes but I have been slowly learning how to snap myself out of being depressed.. Like right now I am currently in school getting my hiset degree (High School Diploma) and then collage.. It took me a little more time to find my way because I am a mom of 4 and I have a wonderful husband to be.. So I have been a very busy woken taking care of home while my fiance provided.. This year all the kids are in school and they are 10 going on 11, 9, 5 going on 6 and 4.. So it's time for me to finally adventure of and get myself in order to be an even better person for my family.. As I say aim high.. Life is hard but you will never appreciate life without hardship
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
Lost.. Written 08/16/2016
I feel lost .. Like I'm losing myself .. My way in life .. I am trying so hard to get myself out this rut .. I care a lot about what others have to say and I shouldn't .. I care a lot if someone has a attitude if it be towards me or not and why should I care because its not the same when it comes to me !! I'm far from perfect .. I make mistakes .. Who don't ?? I feel like I'm always being punished for something in life .. If I did it or not .. I really don't want to go down that path of getting depressed again as I have time and time again .. I am really trying to avoid that .. I really need to do for me and make me happy within myself .. I'm happy with my loved ones .. My children .. Just not happy within myself .. I write to myself because I just feel like if I talk to someone they won't understand it or they will look at me like I'm crazy .. I'm trying to hold everything together but I just feel like I'm losing it and I keep saying it .. I'm just trying to avoid losing it ..