I feel lost .. Like I'm losing myself .. My way in life .. I am trying so hard to get myself out this rut .. I care a lot about what others have to say and I shouldn't .. I care a lot if someone has a attitude if it be towards me or not and why should I care because its not the same when it comes to me !! I'm far from perfect .. I make mistakes .. Who don't ?? I feel like I'm always being punished for something in life .. If I did it or not .. I really don't want to go down that path of getting depressed again as I have time and time again .. I am really trying to avoid that .. I really need to do for me and make me happy within myself .. I'm happy with my loved ones .. My children .. Just not happy within myself .. I write to myself because I just feel like if I talk to someone they won't understand it or they will look at me like I'm crazy .. I'm trying to hold everything together but I just feel like I'm losing it and I keep saying it .. I'm just trying to avoid losing it ..
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